Jeanette Hornby Books: Featured Author: Mary Aris
Thursday, 16 August 2012
Interview with Mary Aris
Welcome to my Author BlogI!
I have been interviewed by Jeanette Hornby Books. To read the Interview click:
Jeanette Hornby Books: Featured Author: Mary Aris
Jeanette Hornby Books: Featured Author: Mary Aris
Friday, 4 May 2012
The BHS
Welcome to my Author Blog!
The BHS
by The Golden Pen
An Excerpt
The BHS
by The Golden Pen
An Excerpt
One
Rachel Bowers walked past Gregg the Baker on her
way to work. The aroma of freshly baked
croissants made her stomach growl with hunger.
Down the road, the smell of Arabica beans being brewed at Cafe
Bonjour Bistro et Patisserie, made Rachel sorry she didn’t have any
breakfast that morning. She didn’t even
have time to brew herself a mug of coffee.
Rachel was running late.
Temptation won her over. Rachel
walked into Gregg the Baker and bought herself two ham and cheese
croissants and a mug of coffee. The
attendant filled her order and soon Rachel was on her way.
The sun was shining brightly over a blue sky that Friday
June morning over Headington. Already
the avenue was crowded with busy folks walking to work and mothers on the
school run, dragging their reluctant children to school. Shopkeepers with smiling faces greeted
passersby as they opened their shops bright and early for another business day.
Rows upon rows of little tables dotted London Road as pensioners and tourists
sat eating their croissants, crumpets, muffins, full English breakfasts,
sipping tea and coffee quietly as they watched the parade of busy people stride
by and the city bussing with life.
“Good morning, Harry.” Rachel said to the postman as she was
about to cross the road.
“Morning, Rachel,” replied the Postman, “Are you off to work
again?”
“Yes,” replied Rachel, “I’m late enough as it is.” Harry tipped his hat towards Rachel.
“Have a good day, Rachel.” he bade.
“You too, Harry! Say hello to Margaret.”
And with that, she crossed London
Road and walked down Old High Street towards the library. Several cobbled stoned houses lined the
street. Rachel smiled at some of the
local residents as she passed along. Mrs
Henderson, who was sweeping her driveway, paused as Rachel went past.
“Morning, Mrs Henderson,” Rachel
greeted her neighbour, “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”
“Indeed it is, Ms Bowers.” Mrs
Henderson replied.
Rachel fetched the skeleton key from the bottom of her
Louis Vuitton handbag. She almost spilled the coffee she was holding in her
right hand. She sighed as she opened the
front door of the library. Turning on
the lobby lights, Rachel walked inside and placed the cardboard drinks tray she
was holding on top of the adult circulation desk and put down the brown paper
bag containing her breakfast.
Rachel had a very busy day ahead of her. She had a meeting with Annie Anderson, one of
the Senior Library Assistants at 9:30 A.M. to discuss her latest project. She had to make a few phone calls, a staff
meeting at 11 and meet her mother for lunch.
A few people, mainly pensioners waiting to read the
morning papers, mothers with overdue books, and people waiting to sign up to
use the internet were queuing up outside the library. Rachel had locked the door from inside, of
course, for it was still way too early to open the Library. Headington library didn’t open until nine
A.M., and it was only quarter to nine.
Annie Anderson pushed herself amongst the crowd, walked up the stairs
and opened the door with her key. The
throng of people tried to push themselves through the door, but Annie reminded
them that the library would be opening at precisely nine A.M. on the dot.
“Good morning, Rachel.” Annie greeted Rachel, who was
busy opening windows.
“Good morning, Annie,” replied Rachel, “Don’t forget our
meeting is at 9:30.”
“Yes, Mamme, I won’t be late.” Annie switched on to the main computer. The computer came alive, bussing and beeping
as it logged on. One by one, Annie
turned on the six computer terminals then walked back to the circulation desk
to set everything up for the day ahead.
There was a stack of books waiting for her in the book depository
box. Annie unlocked the book depository
and retrieved the books. She began scanning each book when Naomi and Raj, two
of the junior library assistants, waltzed in.
Naomi hadn’t finished removing her coat, when Annie
barked, “Naomi, be a dear and let the crowd in, will ya?”
Naomi made a face when Annie wasn’t looking, grabbed her
skeleton key and opened the front door.
The crowd of people stampeded inside, nearly crushing Naomi to
death. The pensioners all waltzed into
the reference area where the local newspapers were kept. Mrs Patel grabbed the Oxford Mail as Mrs
Jenkins was about to pull it off the stick.
“I was here first, Madame!” growled Mrs Patel.
“No, I grabbed it first!” barked Mrs Jenkins.
“Let go of it!” Mrs Patel ordered.
“Well, the nerve of you!” yelled Mrs Jenkins.
“I’m calling the Librarian to settle this!” yelled Mrs
Patel. Rachel raced over to the
reference section.
“Shhhhh! Will you
ladies keep it down, Please?”
“Madame, will you kindly tell this lady to let go of my
paper.” Mrs Patel said.
“She practically yanked it out of my hands!” protested
Mrs Jenkins.
“Grab hold of yourselves, ladies...you’re in a library...if
you ladies won’t behave like civilized adults, I’m afraid I’m going to have to
ask you to leave.” Rachel warned.
“Well............I never have been so insulted in my life!”
Mrs Jenkins remarked.
“Ladies, please.......it’s just a paper. Can’t you too share it?”asked Rachel. She was
already beginning to lose her patience.
“Here....I’ll let you read it, Mrs Patel, since you are
most eager to read the Want ads. I’ll look at the Times now.” said Mrs
Jenkins. She settled down at one of the
tables to read her newspaper. Mrs Patel
fumed as she grabbed the oxford Mail and stormed to the other
side of the reference section huffing and puffing and rolling her eyes.
Ten people were queuing up to use the internet. Naomi signed each one for a thirty-minute
session. When their time was up, one of
the users complained when he was told that his time was up. He said he was in the middle of downloading a
very important piece of information he needed for college. Naomi tried pleading with him, but he
wouldn’t have it. He remained stubborn
and sat down at his terminal continuing his download.
“I’m afraid this user has signed up for the computer,
Sir,” Naomi said, “Your session has come to an end now.”
“Bugger off, Sister!” the man said. He took another
quarter out of his pocket and shoved it into the library assistant’s hand.
“Sign me up again for another thirty minutes, Bitch!” he
said as he turned around to face the monitor.
To his horror, he was timed out.
“What
the......ARRGH.....I’ve just lost my download! I’m calling the council
about this!” He swivelled out of the chair and walked out
the library, swearing under his breath.
At 9:30, Annie waltzed into Rachel’s office, pad and pen
in hand. Rachel’s office faced Bury
Knowles Park South. Her desk, a pine finished
executive desk, was laden with brochures, folders, letterhead stationery, overdue
notices, and an overcrowded Rolodex. The
window was open and a refreshing breeze flowed in.
“Ah, Annie—do come in!” Rachel said. “Please take a seat. I wish to discuss a
project with you.”
Annie sat down on the chair facing Rachel, her pad
resting on her knee. She clicked her pen
ready to take notes.
“Annie, I want to talk to you about an idea I have had
brewing inside my head for a long time now.” said Rachel. “I have just spoken to Mr Johnson over at
Brookes University. We have reserved a
room at Headington Hall once a month on Wednesday evenings to host the BSH.”
“The BSH—what’s the BSH?” Annie asked, scratching her
head.
“The Bookworm Society of Headington—it’s a monthly woman’s
book club aimed at women who are avid readers to discuss the latest fiction and
chick-Lit.” Rachel explained.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Ms Bowers.” Annie
smiled.
“Annie, I’d like you to write down the details and call
the printers right away. I’d like 500
flyers up by next Tuesday.” Rachel went on.
Annie began taking notes. After
lunch, she rang the printers and had Mr Roy Sanderson print the flyers.
The B.S.H.
Bookworms Society of Headington
A local book club for women by women
7PM Wednesday Evenings of each month
Headington Hall
Headington Road
Barton,
Oxford OX3 OBL
Refreshments will
be provided
All female residents ages
18—53 of Headington welcome
For more
information please contact
Rachel
Bowers, head librarian
Headington Library
North
Place
Headington OX3 9HY
O1865
775533
Rachel Bowers was happy with the flyer. The flyers were printed
in glossy green paper in black San Serif font. The printers did a fantastic job. They
even added an image of a bookworm on the right-hand corner for empathises. Annie
placed the heavy box on one of the chairs and took a seat facing Rachel.
“Does this meet with your approval, Ms Bowers?” Annie
asked. Her hair was frizzy this
morning. She washed it the night before
and blow dried it, but in the morning, try as she may, her hair was a big
frizzy mop.
“Yes, I like it.
Can you put the flyers in the lobby, please, Annie.” Rachel said.
“Will that be all, Ms Bowers?” Annie asked.
“Yes, that’ll be all, Annie,” said Rachel, “Thank you.”
Annie rose and carried the box of flyers out onto the
lobby, closing the door behind her.
Rachel looked up at the clock. It
was nearly noon and her stomach was growling.
She picked up the phone and phoned her mother up. Every weekday she and her mother would meet
for lunch at Cafe Bonjour et Patisserie. Every day her mother would order her
usual, a ham and cheese croissant with a big bowl of cream of tomato soup, a
slice of sourdough bread, a bit of brie cheese with cream crackers and some
apple compote, a pot of Earl Tea and a fruited scone. Every day her mother sat at the same booth at
the cafe, sipping her tomato soup, dunking her bread into the broth, sipping
her tea and spreading raspberry jam all over her scone before daintily eating
it.
Rachel was sick of the same routine. She hated getting up in the morning, going to
work, having lunch with her mother at the same boring cafe, coming home at
night, cooking dinner for herself and her mother, washing the dishes, watching
East Enders, reading her Daniel Steel novels while her mother read her Agatha
Christies and then a bit of knitting, taking a shower, brushing her teeth,
going to bed and repeating the same boring routine every single day. She dreamed of going to sunny Spain; perhaps
Majorca or the mountainous regions of Asturias.
She dreamed of meeting a dark, tall Latin lover in Majorca who tantalize
her with his Spanish charm; a chef, perhaps with his own restaurant who would
sweep her off her feet with his Tapas and garlicky chicken; a Spanish chef who
at the end of a tasty meal seduced her with his crème caramels.
But what good was it to dream when you just didn’t have
the funds to travel? Rachel had studied
Library science at Oxford and became a librarian. Her first job was at the college
library. There she met her first love. He was a librarian himself who studied
Library science at Oxford as well. Henry
Johnson was attracted to Rachel’s blue eyes and her charming intellect. He
loved it when Rachel wore her black Ivy-league glasses and pin-up her shoulder
length brown hair in a bun. This gave
her the Ali-McGraw look. They dated a couple of times but soon, early on in the
relationship, Rachel began to notice little flaws in Henry. He had an uncanny habit of being late; a
habit that she detested. Henry was also
a bit of a gambler. He would blow half
his pay cheque on the horse race every other Weekend.
One time, before
they broke up, Henry asked Rachel for a £500 loan. He said he needed the money to buy his ailing
mother a wheel chair. He said that he was short of cash and he had put a £150
deposit down on the wheel chair and had it on lay-away until he could finish
paying for it. He told Rachel that he
needed to make a payment soon and was short on cash; his next pay cheque wasn’t
due until the 30th of the month. Rachel
was shocked when she found out that Henry was blowing it all on a couple of
horses down at the horse race. When she
phoned, enraged, to demand her money back, Henry had done a runner. The last she heard was that he boarded a
plane with some chick he met at a restaurant, and travelled to Dubai. He had
left her no letter of explanation, no phone call to say goodbye, nothing. He
was just gone out of her life.
Rachel heard about an opening position at Headington
Library for Library Director. She took the job.
The job paid a handsome £35,000.00 a year. But she had to repay her student loan and it
would take at least three years before she could clear her student loan. With no extra income she had no choice but to
remain at home, living with her mother.
At age 25, Rachel Bowers was getting on the verge of
being a spinster. She wanted her life to
change. She couldn’t live like this all
her life. She planned to save enough
money to be able to get her own place; maybe go on a holiday to sunny Spain for
a week. She knew after paying off her
student fees, her job as head librarian at Headington Library would allow her
to save a few hundred pounds and then she could move out and start living her
own life.
A Poet's Heart
Welcome to my Author Blog!
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7330888481130710086#editor/target=post;postID=9131948889328437893
My hand glides across an empty canvass
Dripping in scarlet hues, my pen smoothly gildes
Filling the empty spaces and crevices
With words from where inspiration abides.
My heart, like a somnambulist lies
In dreams, trapped within the muse's lair
In lucid revaries, its spirit flies
Like a bird gliding through the air.
I hear the steady rhythm of my heart
Dancing to the tune of a forgotten nymph
Entranced by the beat I take part
In the dance of creativity and triumph.
I write as inspiration takes the lead.....
My masterpiece I hope young and old will read.
© Mary Aris, All rights reserved.
My hand glides across an empty canvass
Dripping in scarlet hues, my pen smoothly gildes
Filling the empty spaces and crevices
With words from where inspiration abides.
My heart, like a somnambulist lies
In dreams, trapped within the muse's lair
In lucid revaries, its spirit flies
Like a bird gliding through the air.
I hear the steady rhythm of my heart
Dancing to the tune of a forgotten nymph
Entranced by the beat I take part
In the dance of creativity and triumph.
I write as inspiration takes the lead.....
My masterpiece I hope young and old will read.
© Mary Aris, All rights reserved.
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Riot at Mike's Diner
Welcome to my Author Blog!

I created this story as part of a writing exercise.
The Exercise:
Describe a food, using all your senses. Observe it visually, of course, but also include texture, smell and taste. Describe it again, but in a way that makes it disgusting: how a big juice steak, for example, must appear to a vegetarian.
Riot at Mike’s Diner
I love a good burger! There’s something about a juicy, tender, succulent, grade- A patty stuck between a soft sesame seed bun to get your taste buds flowing. Everything about a burger is sexy. Come on, what’s not to love about burgers? I’m about to have one now. I’m sitting on a booth now at Mike’s Diner, a 50’s-style restaurant in lower Manhattan. The Jukebox is playing an old Elvis Presley song. I think it’s Love me Tender. But I’m not really an Elvis fan, so I can’t be sure of the track. There’s a soda fountain machine over at the bar. Bill, the Bartender is busy mixing ingredients for shakes. I can hear the whirring of the blender in the background. Customers are lined up at the bar, perched on chromed stools as they wait for their shakes to arrive.
Ah, there’s my burger. I can hear it sizzling on Tina’s tray. The juices from the burger are flowing down unto the plate. A thick, chocolate milkshake accompanies my order and I can almost taste the milky chocolate concoction, its creaminess leaves a milk moustache on my upper lip. Tina sets the tray on a nearby mobile cart and puts the quarter pound bacon cheese burger right in front of me.
The aroma hits my nostrils, sending me to high heaven. I can smell the smokiness of the bacon melting the cheddar cheese. The plumpness of the quarter pound burger looks quite appetizing. The special sauce smells divine and it not only drenches the burger with its tanginess, but makes my mouth water and my stomach rumble. As I am about to plunge my teeth into this divinity, I stop and turn around. I could feel the icy stare of some stranger eyeing me in contempt from across the room. He turns his nose up. I can see him grimace with disgust.
“There’s nothing that revolts me more,” he says to his wife who is devouring a piece of vegan cake, “than the offensive smell of grease and the sight of bloody slaughtered beef. It completely puts me off my vegemite sandwich. “
His wife looks up at her husband. She puts down her fork and stares at him. “Now, Art, please don’t cause a scene. I know we’re vegetarians, but we have to respect non-vegans, too.” says his wife.
“Sheila, please, I’m not causing a scene. But surely you can agree with me that the smell of that beef, dripping in blood makes you want to hurl.” Art turns his head and looks my way. “I mean.....consider the poor cow they slaughtered to satisfy that woman’s whim? What sin did that defenceless cow commit to make someone slaughter him just to satisfy a carnivorous craving?”
Sheila rolled her eyes at her husband. “Art, we must all respect our neighbour’s preferences. Just because we are vegans doesn’t mean we have to disrespect other people’s preferences. Just finish your vegemite sandwich and let’s get out of here, for God’s sakes.”
Art kept staring at me. He turned to his wife. “You know, Sheila, I think they ought to divide restaurants into two sections...you know, like they do with smoking and non-smoking sections. They ought to have a carnivorre section and a vegan section........but they should put the carnivore section in the basement.”
“Oh, Art.......you can be so childish and idiotic sometimes. Now shut up and eat.” They sat in silence for a few minutes. Art kept boring his eyes at me. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I stood up and approached their table.
“Hey, Mr.......Did you lose something? You keep staring at me. It’s impolite.” I said. Art stopped eating and looked up at me. His face morphed into an undignified grimace.
“Lady, you are the one who is impolite..........YOU and your carnivorous cravings!” Art yelled.
“What?” I asked. “What are you going on about, Sir?” I put my hands on my hips. I wasn’t going to be insulted by a grumpy diner.
“You heard me, lady. Why must you chomp on a poor defenceless slaughtered cow? You people make me sick! It’s people like you that are killing our world.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that! How dare you stare at me so rudely and insult me like this! I’m calling the manager!” I yelled. The man’s wife sunk down on her side of the booth feeling ten inches tall. She looked at me as if to say, “Don’t look at me............I don’t know this man.”
Art rose from his seat. He towered over me. He must have been six feet six inches. He stared down at me. His breath smelled of rapeseed oil and brewer’s yeast. “Go ahead, lady, I’d like to speak to the manager as well. I have a great suggestion for him.”
At this time we were getting inquisitive stares from other diners. The bartender looked up from the bar. I glared at this six-foot-and-then-some stranger and called Tina over. Tina rose her head up from her seat at the bar. She was calculating someone’s bill at the time. She slowly rose and approached us. “What seems to be the problem, folks?” she asked.
“The problem is that this......this Moran......keeps staring at me and has insulted me. I want to speak to the manager about him!” I said. Tina tried to defuse the situation and asked us both to calm down.
“Sorry, toots, but this woman has revolted me with the smell of putrid grease and road kill. Now she has insulted me and my wife.” Art said.
“I haven’t said anything about your wife!” I screeched. At this point I was losing my patience. “Tina, please get the manager.......NOW!” Tina turned and headed towards the kitchen. Art hurled an arsenal of obscenities my way which startled some of the diners. That was it...the turning point...........the straw that broke the camel’s back. Reaching towards his table, I grabbed a slice of vegemite sandwich and smeared it all over Art’s face. Art tumbled back on his heels, stunned at my actions.
“Why, you carnivorous, bitch! You’ll pay for that!” Art barked. He grabbed a piece of his wife’s vegan cake and smeared it all over my face. The cake slithered down my neck and over my dress. Grabbing hold of someone’s chocolate shake, I threw it at Art, but it drenched some other diner instead. Art laughed..........a haughty, ugly cackle of a laugh which shook the Diner out of its foundation. The diner rose in anger and threw a whole burger in mid air, landing at the back of Art’s bald head.
“Who threw that disgusting piece of meat at me?” Art asked as he turned around. He picked up a piece of apple pie and threw it at the diner but it hit a woman instead. The woman threw her steak and kidney pudding at the man, missing and hitting the bartender. The bar tender grabbed a pitcher full of strawberry milkshake and threw it at the woman, landing on Art’s wife.
“Mama Mia” cried the manager of Mike’s Diner as he walked in from the kitchen with Tina. “What have they done to my Diner?” Just as he said this he was smacked on the face with a whole lemon meringue pie. “Tina, who started this fiasco?” he asked his employee. Tina scratched her head nervously.
“Marie said that that man over there was rude to her.” Tina answered her boss in a squeeky, mousy voice. Her boss wiped the meringue off his face and moustache.
“Ah, I see,” Mike said as he grabbed a Key Lime pie off the shelf from the counter. He flung it at Art. Art nearly tumbled over. “Out.....Out of my Diner, you slime ball!” Mike said. Art picked up a plate of spaghetti and threw it at Mike but it landed on top of Tina’s head. The place was all covered in food as diners flung plates of food around the joint and at each other.
Just then, the doors flung open and a couple of cops stumbled in blowing whistles and waving batons. The diners took no notice of them and continued their fray. The cops ran every which way to try to establish order but fell on top of each other as they slipped on banana peels on the greasy floor. The room stood still at the sound of a whistle followed by a booming voice coming from the entrance door. A tubby little officer walked in shouting from the top of his lungs.
“HEY! Silence, you lawless bunch of maggots!” he yelled, calling for order. From across the room someone hurled which started a wave of sick diners like a domino effect, drenching the unsuspected officer.
“Was it something, I said?” said the chief of police in a monotone. “Officers, rustle them up like cattle and take them all down to the station, please. They ought to learn not to play with their food!” One by one the officers rounded the diners up and placed them all under arrest and into a paddy wagon for causing a scene and disturbing the peace.
I created this story as part of a writing exercise.
The Exercise:
Describe a food, using all your senses. Observe it visually, of course, but also include texture, smell and taste. Describe it again, but in a way that makes it disgusting: how a big juice steak, for example, must appear to a vegetarian.
Riot at Mike’s Diner
I love a good burger! There’s something about a juicy, tender, succulent, grade- A patty stuck between a soft sesame seed bun to get your taste buds flowing. Everything about a burger is sexy. Come on, what’s not to love about burgers? I’m about to have one now. I’m sitting on a booth now at Mike’s Diner, a 50’s-style restaurant in lower Manhattan. The Jukebox is playing an old Elvis Presley song. I think it’s Love me Tender. But I’m not really an Elvis fan, so I can’t be sure of the track. There’s a soda fountain machine over at the bar. Bill, the Bartender is busy mixing ingredients for shakes. I can hear the whirring of the blender in the background. Customers are lined up at the bar, perched on chromed stools as they wait for their shakes to arrive.
Ah, there’s my burger. I can hear it sizzling on Tina’s tray. The juices from the burger are flowing down unto the plate. A thick, chocolate milkshake accompanies my order and I can almost taste the milky chocolate concoction, its creaminess leaves a milk moustache on my upper lip. Tina sets the tray on a nearby mobile cart and puts the quarter pound bacon cheese burger right in front of me.
The aroma hits my nostrils, sending me to high heaven. I can smell the smokiness of the bacon melting the cheddar cheese. The plumpness of the quarter pound burger looks quite appetizing. The special sauce smells divine and it not only drenches the burger with its tanginess, but makes my mouth water and my stomach rumble. As I am about to plunge my teeth into this divinity, I stop and turn around. I could feel the icy stare of some stranger eyeing me in contempt from across the room. He turns his nose up. I can see him grimace with disgust.
“There’s nothing that revolts me more,” he says to his wife who is devouring a piece of vegan cake, “than the offensive smell of grease and the sight of bloody slaughtered beef. It completely puts me off my vegemite sandwich. “
His wife looks up at her husband. She puts down her fork and stares at him. “Now, Art, please don’t cause a scene. I know we’re vegetarians, but we have to respect non-vegans, too.” says his wife.
“Sheila, please, I’m not causing a scene. But surely you can agree with me that the smell of that beef, dripping in blood makes you want to hurl.” Art turns his head and looks my way. “I mean.....consider the poor cow they slaughtered to satisfy that woman’s whim? What sin did that defenceless cow commit to make someone slaughter him just to satisfy a carnivorous craving?”
Sheila rolled her eyes at her husband. “Art, we must all respect our neighbour’s preferences. Just because we are vegans doesn’t mean we have to disrespect other people’s preferences. Just finish your vegemite sandwich and let’s get out of here, for God’s sakes.”
Art kept staring at me. He turned to his wife. “You know, Sheila, I think they ought to divide restaurants into two sections...you know, like they do with smoking and non-smoking sections. They ought to have a carnivorre section and a vegan section........but they should put the carnivore section in the basement.”
“Oh, Art.......you can be so childish and idiotic sometimes. Now shut up and eat.” They sat in silence for a few minutes. Art kept boring his eyes at me. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I stood up and approached their table.
“Hey, Mr.......Did you lose something? You keep staring at me. It’s impolite.” I said. Art stopped eating and looked up at me. His face morphed into an undignified grimace.
“Lady, you are the one who is impolite..........YOU and your carnivorous cravings!” Art yelled.
“What?” I asked. “What are you going on about, Sir?” I put my hands on my hips. I wasn’t going to be insulted by a grumpy diner.
“You heard me, lady. Why must you chomp on a poor defenceless slaughtered cow? You people make me sick! It’s people like you that are killing our world.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that! How dare you stare at me so rudely and insult me like this! I’m calling the manager!” I yelled. The man’s wife sunk down on her side of the booth feeling ten inches tall. She looked at me as if to say, “Don’t look at me............I don’t know this man.”
Art rose from his seat. He towered over me. He must have been six feet six inches. He stared down at me. His breath smelled of rapeseed oil and brewer’s yeast. “Go ahead, lady, I’d like to speak to the manager as well. I have a great suggestion for him.”
At this time we were getting inquisitive stares from other diners. The bartender looked up from the bar. I glared at this six-foot-and-then-some stranger and called Tina over. Tina rose her head up from her seat at the bar. She was calculating someone’s bill at the time. She slowly rose and approached us. “What seems to be the problem, folks?” she asked.
“The problem is that this......this Moran......keeps staring at me and has insulted me. I want to speak to the manager about him!” I said. Tina tried to defuse the situation and asked us both to calm down.
“Sorry, toots, but this woman has revolted me with the smell of putrid grease and road kill. Now she has insulted me and my wife.” Art said.
“I haven’t said anything about your wife!” I screeched. At this point I was losing my patience. “Tina, please get the manager.......NOW!” Tina turned and headed towards the kitchen. Art hurled an arsenal of obscenities my way which startled some of the diners. That was it...the turning point...........the straw that broke the camel’s back. Reaching towards his table, I grabbed a slice of vegemite sandwich and smeared it all over Art’s face. Art tumbled back on his heels, stunned at my actions.
“Why, you carnivorous, bitch! You’ll pay for that!” Art barked. He grabbed a piece of his wife’s vegan cake and smeared it all over my face. The cake slithered down my neck and over my dress. Grabbing hold of someone’s chocolate shake, I threw it at Art, but it drenched some other diner instead. Art laughed..........a haughty, ugly cackle of a laugh which shook the Diner out of its foundation. The diner rose in anger and threw a whole burger in mid air, landing at the back of Art’s bald head.
“Who threw that disgusting piece of meat at me?” Art asked as he turned around. He picked up a piece of apple pie and threw it at the diner but it hit a woman instead. The woman threw her steak and kidney pudding at the man, missing and hitting the bartender. The bar tender grabbed a pitcher full of strawberry milkshake and threw it at the woman, landing on Art’s wife.
“Mama Mia” cried the manager of Mike’s Diner as he walked in from the kitchen with Tina. “What have they done to my Diner?” Just as he said this he was smacked on the face with a whole lemon meringue pie. “Tina, who started this fiasco?” he asked his employee. Tina scratched her head nervously.
“Marie said that that man over there was rude to her.” Tina answered her boss in a squeeky, mousy voice. Her boss wiped the meringue off his face and moustache.
“Ah, I see,” Mike said as he grabbed a Key Lime pie off the shelf from the counter. He flung it at Art. Art nearly tumbled over. “Out.....Out of my Diner, you slime ball!” Mike said. Art picked up a plate of spaghetti and threw it at Mike but it landed on top of Tina’s head. The place was all covered in food as diners flung plates of food around the joint and at each other.
Just then, the doors flung open and a couple of cops stumbled in blowing whistles and waving batons. The diners took no notice of them and continued their fray. The cops ran every which way to try to establish order but fell on top of each other as they slipped on banana peels on the greasy floor. The room stood still at the sound of a whistle followed by a booming voice coming from the entrance door. A tubby little officer walked in shouting from the top of his lungs.
“HEY! Silence, you lawless bunch of maggots!” he yelled, calling for order. From across the room someone hurled which started a wave of sick diners like a domino effect, drenching the unsuspected officer.
“Was it something, I said?” said the chief of police in a monotone. “Officers, rustle them up like cattle and take them all down to the station, please. They ought to learn not to play with their food!” One by one the officers rounded the diners up and placed them all under arrest and into a paddy wagon for causing a scene and disturbing the peace.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
An Interview with Mary Aris
Welcome to my Author Blog!

I have been Interviewed by We Write Worlds.
To view the Interview click on the link below:
An Interview with Mary Aris
I have been Interviewed by We Write Worlds.
To view the Interview click on the link below:
An Interview with Mary Aris
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Character of the Month of February
Welcome to my Author Blog!

Name: Anastasia Emeraud Green Born: August 1279 Died: Summer 1298 Parents: Gunter Greene & Mercedes Mead From the Book: |
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